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Survivors Guide to the Magical World
PART 2: Surviving the Pagan Festivals, by Azzerac

 

       So, you're thinking about attending a festival. It sounds wonderful! Days of camping, like-minded companions, new friends, exchange of ideas: what could be better for a burgeoning witch or wizard? Back to Nature, Cradled in the Arms of The Mother, demonstrating your skills, attending the workshops, all the things you'll learn, the very energy in the air, and maybe even romance; you can hardly wait! (The author is taking this moment to chuckle A LOT!) Slow down a moment, Merlin! Think this through, Morganna!

You forget who you're dealing with here: PEOPLE!

        Don't get me wrong. All of those things are there, and more, but you might forget that there are as many pagan paths as there is people walking them. All those paths criss-crossing in one place, it's nearly impossible not to step on some toes. That being said, let's approach the expectations like a shopping list, and dive right in....

 

    1) Days of camping, Back to Nature, Cradled in the Arms of The Mother:

        Ah, the great outdoors! Living the city life can lead to a powerful romanticization of 'roughing it'. Campfires, sleeping bags, fresh air, and sunny day hikes in the mountains can fill the thoughts. Throwing in a community of kindred souls is like icing on the cake, right? Sounds pretty good, doesn't it? It makes for a grand vision.

        Reality check time. Let's think it through.

        You aren't the only one with that vision. At Dragonfest (a popular pagan festival, here in Colorado), you'll be sharing that dream with 999 other attendees. Five days of camping in the Colorado Rocky Mountains with other pagans attracts not just national, but international attention. Getting there on day-one rests in everyone's minds (save for the setup volunteers) from the moment you receive your registration confirmation.

        Packing Your Gear': It's a pagan fest right? After you get the basics out of the way ("I thought You were gonna' bring the camp stove!"), you have the stuff you want to show off. That cool staff you found/carved (or bought, but-don't-tell-anyone!), or that cloak you hand-stitched/had-made (or bought, but-don't-tell-anyone!), or that sword/Athame you had made/inherited (or bought, but-don't-tell-anyone!) can be tempting to bring with you. Knock yourself out. Everyone does it. Everyone! It can sometimes turn the whole event into an S.C.A. gathering. I, for one, am most impressed by seeing the types of tools and garb people really use in there practice. You can tell a pristine prop from the well-worn working tools of real practitioner Cloaks with muddy hems, a bolline with scuffs and dings, or a staff well worn where the wood meets the road, are all filled with stories. Like the stick-figure fashion model, they look nice when new, but everything looses it shine, and it better be capable of a real life afterwards. This mind-set still hasn't kept parts of these fests from becoming a show-and-tell fashion show, so you'll still find others of your kind there, if you are still so disposed. Let's hope that pretty '440-Stainless steel' dagger can hold up in a toe-to-toe with a bear if it needs to.

    I did mention the bears, didn't I?*

    So off you go: a long drive on mountain roads. A VERY long drive, on freeway, highway, and corrugated dirt roads gets you to the gate. ...and you wait. If you planned it right, you're near the front of the line, but you are pagan. P.S.T. is more the rule than the exception. Even if you are at the front, that still means waiting while the crew gets organized ....so you wait. Let's hope you didn't forget anything (something I'm guilty of, every year), because once that line forms behind you, there's no going back until you get in and Then turn around. (You may as well set up camp and wait until the traffic dies-down).

    When you finally do get through, it can be something like a great western land-grab. Everyone is out to get the best/their favorite/the perfect spot. Some are lucky or skilled in this endeavor, but as the purpose of this article is of a 'fore-warned' variety. Let's get to it.

    If you don't get there early, the things you'll miss out on are many:

    Fire Rings: Campfires are a staple of the camping experience, and flashlight batteries run down fast. Lanterns are good, but the thin air at high elevations can play merry-hob with their use. Let's not forget heat. Even though it's the middle of summer, night time temperatures can drop to below freezing in the high elevations. Any caveman could tell you:

    'Fire is Life'.

    Campfires also lend to attracting passers-by. They are a veritable social magnet. A handful of people gathered around a fire ring can quickly turn into several people. Throw in a bottle of anything strong and a party ensues.

    'Fire is Life'!

    Preferred work shifts. I know what you're saying: "I paid my entry. Why do I have to work"? Well, think it through. It takes a lot for everything to happen and to safeguard against incidents. Just keeping people safe and informed can take several people. Throw in running the gate, the community center, first aid,... you starting to see?

    Fests don't just 'Happen'. They take work. If the attendees don't do it, then someone has to be hired. Not only does it increase the costs, but since pagans are attending the fest, that means brining in non-pagan workers. So much for being surrounded by the like-minded.

    The work shifts I recall should be the same at all fests: Community center kitchen, safety/security, herald, first aid tent, tram driver, gate staff, and child care (you thought pagans didn't breed?).

        Community Center: In this pagan's opinion, it's the prize jewel of work shifts. Get breakfast duty if you can. Sure, I know that it means getting up earlier than the rest, but only for that day. If you get it early in the week, everyone else sees you as the person who filled their belly and curbed their coffee craving. You are that smiling face at the end of the long line for a full belly and a mug of something warm. Everyone there will remember you, and fondly: Instant Friendship! People you spoke with for scant seconds will wave to you. I hope your memory for faces is good. They will remember yours.

        Second to that, I'd go for Opening Day Reception. Everyone has to pass through that tent, and seeing you means 'they have arrived'. Imagine being attached to that memory of relief. It's a double-edged sword, though. You are also the face attached to every disappointment the fest will bring. There are always those that seek disappointment in every opportunity. "The Ghost at The Feast" they are known as, and every party has them.

        Front Gate is good, but waiting in line can make people cranky.

        Tram driver is pretty good. It means not having to walk five miles to so many people. You don't have to cook, or pass out unwanted work shifts, but you do have to avoid hitting the walkers, and all that people generally remember of you is the back of your head.

        Security means getting to know the landscape and people, but you better like walking. You'll be doing a lot of walking. You can't hang-out and talk as you would like, and you won't have half the answers for the questions people will have, but hey! It's an easy gig.

        First Aid Tent: no walking, no ...anything. On a good day, you sit alone, or with only one or two others, for two hours. On a bad day, you run the risk of something serious happening and having to really be there for someone. I hope you're good at this game. It can be to the stress-prone, like unto a Sword of Damocles, waiting for the other shoe to drop. After you find out where everything is in the tent, and more-so what isn't, it's just waiting. Better bring a book.

        Herald: Better than security, but still walking. No real time to stand around, unless you've chosen to be bad at this job. Did I mention what it does to your throat? I don't care what lemon-and-honey concoction you saddle-out with, your throat will feel it at the end of your shift.

        Child/Day Care: With any religious retreat, you get families. With people wanting to attend this workshop or working that work shift, or attending the other ritual circle, someone needs to watch the wee-ones. If you're good with kids, let alone like them, this can be a walk in the park or two hours of Hades. From diapers, through toy fights, to potty-runs, you'll be there through the lot of it. It's best to gain their respect early. You can use subtle body language to let them know "I'm not mommy, and you can't get away with that with me", but too strongly and you get to star in the "Childhood Traumas" section of their therapy sessions twenty to thirty years from now. You really want to roll those dice?

    Enough on work shifts. Where was I? Oh Yeah;

    Garb Preferences: Many pagans are Naturalists, and the fest promoters know that. You will find that the 'Clothing Optional' sections can fill fast! If you have your heart set on sun bathing in the buff, that means getting there early, and don't forget to stake-out a campsite wide enough allow for this pastime. Better make it bit wider: you don't want to be too close to the neighbors. Better put up some sort of flag-lines to mark your territory, especially if you have friends joining later, who couldn't mule-train out with you at the ass-crack of dawn. Those lines also come in handy if you find yourself being ogled by the type that camp there just for the free floor-show. The Flag-lines come in handy for draping those long Celtic Print Sarongs from, for a bit of privacy, when mandated by unwanted admirers.

        On the other side of the coin, perhaps you don't want your partner or children to be same-said "Unwanted Admirer" of the person camped next-door. The lines between Clothing Optional & Clothing Mandatory get blurred, and spread-out, and more ambiguous with each year. Play it safe and try to park on the opposite end.

    Flat Ground: One of the worst parts of camping in the mountains is being on one. It goes beyond the simple creature comfort of keeping you, your tables and chairs, even your tent upright. If you're like yours-truly, Indulgence (READ: OVER-indulgence) can make actually getting back into your sleeping bag a chore and a half. Also, let's not forget the other people, uphill, trying to camp on the same incline. It has lead to at least one couple in 'vigorous congress' actually rolling their tent down upon mine. I still can't believe I slept through it (I heard about it after).

    Accessibility to Your Spot from Last Year: If you had a wonderful and memorable time last year, it's only natural to try to 'make it happen, again, this year'. Trying to recapture the setting, mood, and companionship of years past is a lost cause, but we still try. No matter how rough it was, our memories of the good parts sugar-coat the bad, turning them into great tales of exploits (even if it was a nightmare when it actually happened). 'Attaching to out-come', they call it. The more expectations you bring with you, the more disappointment you'll carry home with you. It's the same here. Best get 're-enactment' out of your head at the start.

    Any Choice at All!: The worst part is showing up, even in the afternoon of the first day, and finding the dregs. If you can't show up early, you'd better be camping with friends who can. It's better than going the whole fest without any amenities. On the other hand,...

    It can make a great excuse to spend all of your time a-wandering. A tent on the side of a hill makes a great excuse to sleep in someone-else's. The folks who did manage to camp near your last-years spot are still there: go visit them! Bring the afore-mentioned "bottle of something strong" and (almost) no campfire will refuse you!

    'Fire is Life'!

 

    Places to avoid camping:

    The Privies: It should be obvious, but as this is intended to be informative, I'll treat you like a fool for just a moment.

        YUCK!

        On cool days, the high-note aroma of porta-john antiseptic can invade the incense of your morning personal ceremonies. On warm Days, around 2pm, it can be positively unbearable! But That's just the Daytime! Cooking dinner becomes a chore in it's own right. Do you really want to eat anything you prepared "down-wind"?

        Then there's the nights! When the sun goes down, and respective parties really start moving, 'beer-bladder' will have those doors swinging and slamming all night long. Add a new-born to the scenario, anyone's newborn, and it becomes a midnight serenade equal only to cats in heat in an inner-city alleyway! Incorporate into this the chorus baritone  of 'too-much-beer-coming-back-up' in one toilet, and the 'tenor choir' of an "in-and-outhouse" quickie,...

        By morning meal, you'll be looking for a new camp site through bloodshot eyes.

    Drum Circles: I don't know. They may just be your kind of place. You better know for sure before camping there. The drunken revelers come from someplace, and here is the largest place they congregate! They may start out great, but by the time they shut down the circle (normally around Midnight), they've lost their flashlights, stumbling through your campsite (if not your tent), and are lucky they still know they're even AT a fest, let alone which way their camp is! And that's assuming they make it that far! (I really hate having to explain 'bodies on my doorstep'!)

    Families with Small Children: Don't get me wrong! We all know that "children are our future", but at 3am, they are a "right-here, right-now"  too much for most fest-goers! Bring Them! My second born son, Amergin, attended D-fest at one week old! I must say now, however, in retrospect: "I Am Sooooo very sorry, Everyone"!

    Large 'Encampments': The only place better for attracting revelries than a Drum Circle is an encampment! "We don't 'Camp'. We 'Fest'!"**, is the best way I heard it said. All the amenities wrapped up in 'Circled-Wagons' of tents, vans, and the occasional Winnebago. Remember when I suggested camping with others who leave early? Well this is it's Illogical and Ludicrous conclusion! The noise goes on as long as the generator works, the refrigerator is stocked, and the light-bulbs burn. If you really want a shower, they are the best friends in the world. I almost made it home from a couple of their parties! When you're in, You are VERY In with these campsites, but when you aren't, it's best to have them over the horizon from you

    Other People: (Impossible, but one can dream)

           You DID come here to join in with the pagan community, remember? Welcome to The Fest!

        When you finally get settled in, you'll be exposed to what the actual pagan community really is. There's no need to expound here. Most of the types of pagans can be found in The Lexicon we've compiled. Give it a Thumb-Through, and click 'Back' when you're done. (Whistles while you read.....)

Done?

Good!

        Now, remember, I said Most types of attendees are in there. There are three types that aren't: The 'Fester', The 'Buddy', and The 'Audience'.

        The 'Fester'

        The Fester isn't really a pagan. They're more like a breed of hippy that wants to 'be where it's at'. The party is the thing. No real path, they just wander. From Burning-Man, to Lilith Fest, to D-Fest, or Penzig, and on, and on, finally coming to rest in Tucson for the Gem Show before starting all over again. Their Tent of Choice is a retrofitted school bus or V.W. Micro-bus. The art of partying has been perfected with this breed, but don't expect metaphysical discussions to exceed the depth of the average pot-head revelations of micro-cosmic perspective. (See "National Lampoons, Animal House" for this, so you can avoid them).

        If they profess themselves to be part of the Rainbow Coalition, my suggestion is "Run"! FAST!

        My every run-in with members of this group has left me robbed. Long and short, They seem to believe that "What's Yours is Mine, and What's MINE is Mine"! They have helped themselves to my food, my music, and my equipment. What they don't take, they seem to treat with little to no respect, so what they let you keep is probably returned damaged anyways. I wish you luck, Fest-Goers, and pray that you don't join their ranks.

        The 'Buddy'

        Also not of a pagan 'breed', they are the friends of pagans that heard what a great time their pagan pal had last year, and got onto the mailing list. They are only there for the party. They are similar to the Fester, but they haven't made a life-style out of it. They 'Play Pagan' for five days a year, doing all they can to blend into the scene & scenery. Harmless, for the most part they can even add to the revelries. They actually worry about being discovered, 'found out' as though they were some sort of Spy. The best I can suggest is that, upon unearthing the 'Buddy', treat them politely, as they will tell the tales of their treatment at the hands of 'Those People' to their community. Barring That, "Rock Their World"! Who knows: you may make a serious convert.

        My dysfunction with the above mentioned is that they take up spaces, places, and tickets that are intended for the interested Pagan Practitioner, and not the Libido-ed Lookie-Loo. Imagine being the person who didn't get in, only to hear later about the veritable army of 'Buddies' one encampment brought along. It can leave one with a sense of frustration with the whole idea of Fests. This is how 'splinter groups' get started. Think I'm over-reacting? Look into it.

        1,000 Tickets get sold for Dragonfest. The land it sits on isn't large enough to accommodate many more, so growth is limited. How will you feel when you get your money back, after sending it in on day-one of the registration period? It's bound to happen sooner or later.

    and Finally,

        The 'Audience'

         Here they come down the dirt road; No tent, but an expanding trailer.  They step out with the ever-present folding chair, that hangs from a strap like a purse on their shoulder. They stomp (if not waddle) to the Reception tent like a diner that found a rat in their soup. Their high-pitch voice keening through the forest calm demanding as to 'why they should have to do work shifts?!? They Paid their tickets!'

        To these types, this is nothing more than a concert, a ball game, or a movie show. They stare at and scrutinize the other attendees like a film critic. They're the first to grill you about your every word. In Short:  "I paid my ticket! Where's The Show?"  ...and you are it! They add nothing to the festivals, but simply watch as it goes by. "Participation is something that happens to other people!" They are the first to critique anything & everything, though they added not one bit to... ANYTHING! Not one workshop, not one ritual, not even joining in a Dance Circle. They simply demean others efforts as they fear their-own would be if they even tried. So they don't.

        It's really quite sad, when you think about it. I Try Not to.

        When you hear them start, walking directly away and not responding usually gives them the hint. A simple "Let's see you do better", usually shuts them up, but makes enemies. Just Remember: You are nobodies 'floor show'. You are not here for anyone's entertainment (unless it's mutual. ~Wink!~).

        I may be taking a very socially-oriented slant to this article, but that really is what these fests are all about. Religion is People. People are social. My role here is trying to help you have the most fun while making the biggest & best impression on the community at large. Making a good and lasting impression can be hard work. It would be nice to let your hair down (said the bald-man), and not be 'always on'. Being knees-to-elbows with other campers can make that hard.

        On the other hand; Last year, I had attended D-Fest for the first time in Eight Years, and there were still people who remembered me! I'm confident that I know of what I speak.

Now, back to the Shopping List thread...

    2) Like-minded Companions, New Friends, Exchange of ideas, Attending the workshops, All the things you'll learn:

        Terry Pratchett*** tell us "The natural size of a Coven is One"! He is spot-on with that one. You recall me mentioning how many paths there are? Well, none of them are the same as yours. On the plus side, it means that there is a world of information you can glean from the folks around you. The trouble is finding the right times to discuss anything. They are just as interested in 'Fest-ing' as you should be, at this point. Discussion, when they do finally arise between tugs from a bottle (or other 'party favor'), are usually in the form of heated debate or out-and-out argument. One person's intellectual pursuit is another's 'touchy-subject'.

    I find it best to stick to the New Friends idea, and keep a 'let's wait and see' attitude towards the like-minded issue.

    As for attending workshops, I hope you remember that the people 'out there' teaching are usually the same ones teaching workshops 'in here'. If you thought it was hokum before, the odds are you see it the same way in a fest. The major differences: In a fest, you don't have to pay for it (unless there are needed supplies), and secondly, they'll be wasting much less of your time trying to teach it to you, as they are limited to one or two hours.

    My advice is to seek out those classes that teach something practical. Stick to Drum Playing, or herb craft/gathering, or maybe (for a few dollars more) instrument making classes. The ideology conflicts can be ignored in the face of a practical skill. Complex arts such as belly-dance, or ritual magic can be too involved for the short period of time they have to teach before the next class starts.

    OH! And don't let it get in the way of your work shift! It always seems that the best classes are held while you're watching the gate!

    3) The very Energy in the Air:

        The energy in the air is you! It's not too dissimilar to the enthusiasm one feels on the verge of a new relationship. The potential, the wavering boundaries of probability in the presence of all that magical skill and practice. It can be as exhilarating as it is intimidating. My first time, the area was so charged that not only could I predict the weather with frightening, down-to-the-half-minute accuracy, but found I could control & orchestrate it by snapping my fingers or simply rubbing them together! Oh, Yes! The Power is There! In my case, it waned with every return to Fest, but it's still there.

        It' best not to dissect such things, but rest assured, It's You more than the fest that makes it!

 

    4) ...and Maybe even Romance:

        Maybe? MAYBE?! It's hard NOT to make that connection at a festival of this type. Metaphysical Energy and Pheromones are very tightly connected. That's just where you'll probably end up too: "Tightly Connected"! There are a LOT of relationships in the community that incorporate a "D-Fest clause", suspending the rule of monogamy for those Five Days. "What happens at Fest...". (If this doesn't jibe well with your sensibilities, make sure you know before you... "Dance". Your partner may already have a full dance card.)

        Love? That is a completely different story. Best you know now, then find out later. You may meet the most incredible woman/man in the world, while walking the paths or sharing a campfire. You may meet a person's true self in the borders and durations of a fest. Glamoury is part and parcel with the essence of pagan festivals. Falling in Love, "Big L" kind of love, is only natural.

        The problem isn't Falling in Love. It's believing that this love will last past the fest. I've made the mistake myself. I have a wonderful, talented daughter to show for it. The issue comes from the fact that the person you meet is an idealized version of them. The "Them" they are behind the 9 to 5 job, beyond the family & friends, hidden until that escape from 'Mundania', into the week-long wonderland that is Fest. As soon as the festival ends, this Idealized Identity goes back into the box, hidden safe from the judges & turmoil that is Mundania.

        Now that you are warned, Play! Have Fun! Fall in Love! The real trick is not being afraid for that love to end, or at least be postponed until next year. Never deny yourself that feeling of exuberance, that calm frenzy, that hopeful desperation!

        Don't be afraid of getting burned.

        "Life is Fire"!

 

P.S.T.- Pagan Standard Time: "It Happens when it Happens"

S.C.A.- Society for Creative Anachronisms

* - Any Animal Warnings necessary will be included in your participant information packets. They BETTER be!


**- Thanks, "Jazz", of "Wolf Camp"

***- Though I don't know him to be a self-proclaimed pagan, Terry Pratchett has great insights into 'our kind'.
 

  

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